LET'S BE HONEST, WE ARE PEOPLE PLEASERS. and it's a problem.
Why is it so easy to please people?
Let's be honest, we have been pleasing people for a long time. Ever since we were a child we have put a lot of value in the opinions of others. We look for affirmation in the opinions of others because it makes us feel good knowing that others like us.
Now, let's not be naive, there is a human need for us to build community with others. God wired us to love and be loved. This is a real, normal need in the lives of every single one of us.
But I have found that this need to be liked can suck the life out of us. It can become a prison for our potential. It can drift our focus, and steal our time. God has given us a mission and that mission is not about being liked, it's about lives being changed. And many times, that has nothing to do with being liked.
“if we were honest, sometimes we replace our ultimate goal of "discipling others", for "being liked by others"
Sometimes we don't even know it.
The crazy thing is Jesus' whole mission was ended by everyone hating him. He knew that the mission God had for him was not to be liked, but to die so that we may know God for eternity. Even Jesus' mission had nothing to do with people pleasing. People pressured him to be something different all the time. It could have been so easy for Jesus to do the things that made people like him. But he didn't, he did the thing God called him to do and the mission he was given.
WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN YOUR purpose MAKES OTHERS MAD?
One of my favorite stories in the Old Testament Nehemiah. God called Nehemiah to serve their people through the building of the wall. Now this wall that God had called Nehemiah to build increased his threat to his life by ten - fold.
Check out this verse...
7 But when Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites and the people of Ashdod heard that the repairs to Jerusalem’s walls had gone ahead and that the gaps were being closed, they were very angry. 8 They all plotted together to come and fight against Jerusalem and stir up trouble against it. 9 But we prayed to our God and posted a guard day and night to meet this threat.
10 Meanwhile, the people in Judah said, “The strength of the laborers is giving out, and there is so much rubble that we cannot rebuild the wall.”
11 Also our enemies said, “Before they know it or see us, we will be right there among them and will kill them and put an end to the work.”
12 Then the Jews who lived near them came and told us ten times over, “Wherever you turn, they will attack us.”
13 Therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows. 14 After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.”
His life was completely threatened by the people around him. Everyone was against this call and the danger it took. But Nehemiah knew WHO he was in God. He knew that God's opinion of him was greater than man's opinion. He knew who he served. He knew that he didn't serve people first, but God. Easier said than done, especially when your life is at stake.
work daily on your identity.
People pleasing has directly to do with your identity. The reason you care so much about what they think about you is because your identity is wrapped in their opinion of you. Can I say that you are a son and daughter of the universe. He has called you to change the world around you and take big risks to see change for his kingdom. Their opinion is NOTHING compared to God's view of you.
God's view of you is all that matters.
People pleasing is deeply rooted in your identity.
Spend daily time on your identity through the word, and through reminders. Remind yourself that who you are is a son and daughter of the one who made the stars. When you can change your perspective, you can change the decisions that need to be made!
You can be like Nehemiah. Knowing that there will be decisions that people simply won't like in your life. But when God calls you to something, that is all that matters.
Hope this helped. Love y'all